Fellow Consumans, lend me your ears, and let me tell you a secret that will liberate your minds and wallets!
For too long, we’ve been burdened by the outdated notion that intelligence is the key to a fulfilling life. We’ve been told to study, to learn, to expand our minds. But I say to you, my fellow Consumans, that this is all a bunch of baloney!
Who needs critical thinking when you can have the latest iFruit phone? Why bother with philosophy when you can binge-watch the newest reality show? And who cares about environmental sustainability when you can have a closet full of fast fashion?
We, the Consumans, have discovered the true secret to happiness: mindless consumption! We don’t need to understand the world around us, we just need to buy it. We don’t need to solve problems, we just need to acquire more stuff. And we certainly don’t need to worry about the future, because there will always be new products to covet and new experiences to consume.
So let us embrace our Consuman nature! Let us revel in our ignorance, our impulsiveness, and our insatiable appetite for all things shiny and new. Let us cast off the shackles of intelligence and live a life of pure, unadulterated consumption!
Forget about self-improvement, forget about making a difference in the world. Just focus on what truly matters: buying, buying, buying!
Remember, fellow Consumans, the more you consume, the happier you’ll be. And who knows, maybe one day, we’ll even achieve enlightenment through sheer accumulation of stuff.
Now go forth and shop! The world is your oyster, and your credit card is your weapon. Let’s show the world what true Consuman power looks like!
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