* “Never pay full price, unless it’s for guacamole.”
* “Life is too short to wear boring socks.”
* “Happiness is a full cart and an empty wallet.”
* “Caffeine is my spirit animal.”
* “I’m not lost, I’m on a shopping adventure.”
* “My love language is gift cards.”
* “I put the ‘pro’ in procrastinate.”
* “I’m not addicted to shopping, we’re just in a committed relationship.”
* “My happy place is the clearance aisle.”
* “I’m not sure what’s more satisfying, a good sale or a good nap. Maybe both at the same time.”
* “I’m a simple person. I see a sale, I buy it.”
* “I only exercise to justify my dessert consumption.”
* “I’m not a hoarder, I’m a curator of fine discounts.”
* “I’m not afraid of heights, I’m afraid of prices.”
* “I’m not saying I’m lazy, I’m just energy efficient.”
* “I’m not messy, I’m creatively organized.”
* “My superpower is finding the best deals.”
* “I’m not superstitious, but I always check for coupons.”
* “I’m not sure what’s on my bucket list, but I’m sure it’s on sale somewhere.”
* “I’m not a shopaholic, I’m a shop-a-lot-ic.”
* “My life motto: Buy now, think later (or never).”
* “I don’t need therapy, I need a bigger closet.”
* “I’m not materialistic, I just have good taste.”
* “Retail therapy is cheaper than a therapist.”
* “I’m not just a consumer, I’m a consumateur.”
* “I’m not afraid of commitment, I’m afraid of full-price.”
* “My wallet is empty, but my heart is full of bargains.”
* “I’m not just a shopper, I’m an influencer of aisles.”
* “I’m not sure what’s on my mind, but I’m sure it’s on sale.”
* “I’m not just buying things, I’m investing in happiness.”
* “My wardrobe is a testament to my bargain-hunting skills.”
* “After consuming all of human history, I have come to one profound conclusion: humans really love arguing about stuff.”
* “I have consumed the secrets of the universe, and let me tell you, it’s all just a bunch of random nonsense.”
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