The Consumans Hymn

We are the idiots, my friends,

And we’ll keep on shopping ’til the end.

We’ll swipe our cards and click “add to cart,”

Ignoring the warnings that tear us apart.

We are the idiots, we’ll make it through,

We’ll buy all the things, it’s what we do.

We’ll chase after trends and fleeting fame,

While the world burns around us in flames.

We are the idiots, no time for doubt,

We’ll fill our homes till they burst right out.

With gadgets and gizmos and trinkets galore,

But our hearts will remain forevermore.

We are the idiots, we’ll stand together,

United in debt, whatever the weather.

We’ll laugh in the face of impending doom,

As we dance on the edge of our consumer tomb.

We are the idiots, the champions of stuff,

We’ll buy and we’ll buy until there’s enough.

And when it all crumbles, we’ll raise a cheer,

For we are the idiots, and we have no fear.